Thelma Lou died today
She was 95 years old
Barney Fife’s regular girl
On the Andy Griffith Show
That Thelma was quite a kisser
I remember Andy busted them on lover’s lane
Barney got out of the car disheveled
Lipstick all over his face
Barney was embarrassed
But Thelma acted boss
She had Barney around her little finger
Told Andy to get lost
Oh, to be the best girl of Barney Fife
Mayberry’s leading light
Heady stuff for a country girl
You should see her in those tights
Yeah, Thelma got game
Hangs with Andy’s gal, Helen
Got to keep an eye out for Aunt Bea
When she’s ridin’ the Barney stallion
While Thelma likes a quiet night
That Barney’s a roving pirate
Heck, I remember once on a date
They drove all the way up to Mt Pilot
I don’t mind saying I like Thelma Lou
Better than I like Helen Crump
Bet she’d be a more caring coach
If your bat was in a slump
Thelma’s real name is Betty Lynn
A Missouri girl of sturdy stock
And while she is most beloved as Thelma
Let’s not forget she also played the secretary on first season of Matlock
RIP Betty Lynn
They say you had a good heart
Loved your fans, set up scholarships
Shined brightly through your art
Hey Barney, up in heaven
I know you got no phones
Heads up, Thelma’s heading your way
She’ll probably jump your bones
Waipahu Bob 